


A Different Kind of Hell

by DellaBella



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Demons, Developing Friendships, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DellaBella/pseuds/DellaBella
Summary: After the Great Flood, Crowley helps the apprentice architect Michael set up a neighborhood to help cope with the sudden influx of new souls arriving in Hell. In the process, he might inadvertently inspire Michael to get a bit more creative in his future endeavors.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 85





	A Different Kind of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm obsessed with Good Omens and The Good Place. Crowley and Michael are my favorite character from each show. I love these reformed demons- they give me life. And I feel like they need to be friends, they might be the two demons who would understand each other the best.

3004 B.C.

All of Hell was currently abuzz with stories of what was happening on the Earth. A great flood had wiped out most of humanity. They had not expected it, but then again, it wasn’t as if anyone Upstairs was going to share that sort of plan with them. But the sudden influx of human souls was proving to be quite the overload on the system they had set up. They were used to them trickling in a few at a time, not by the millions. 

“Michael!” Shawn yelled, summoning his subordinate into his office. “I need your help.”

“Yes, of course,” Michael responded obligingly. He was just an apprentice architect at this point, but he would do his best to be useful. Maybe this would be his chance to finally earn that promotion.

“You’ll never guess who just showed up to talk to me,” Shawn muttered, rifling through paperwork.

Michael searched his mind, trying to think of an appropriate response. “No, I suppose not,” he replied finally.

Shawn rolled his eyes. “Ligur and Hastur.”

Michael’s eyes grew wide. The Dukes of Hell never bothered checking up personally on the architects, certainly they had much more pressing matters to attend to. “It’s about the flood?”

“No, they wanted to invite me out to dinner…” Shawn replied wryly, giving the other demon a withering look.

Michael laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah, stupid question. So what do you need my help with?”

“We need to get as many neighborhoods up and running as quickly as possible. Just grab some old blueprints and get them started. We don’t need to waste any time dreaming up anything new.”

“Right,” Michael said quickly, grabbing the stack of papers that Shawn handed him before scurrying off to get to work.

Knowing that the Dukes of Hell were lurking about somewhere in his department had Michael and the rest of his colleagues on edge. Shawn was the highest ranking demon that Michael had to deal with on a regular basis, and that was frightening enough. Despite his relatively cool and collected demeanor, Shawn was no one to cross. He had earned his position through being a ruthlessly proficient torturer, and he could dole it out just as easily to insubordinate demons as he could to the souls of the damned.

For some reason that Michael had still not managed to figure out, Shawn had taken it upon himself to act as his mentor, to teach him the methods of torture. Michael hadn’t dared to refuse such an offer, and it had worked out in his favor ultimately. He had moved up the ranks of Hell’s bureaucracy which was about as good of an outcome as a demon could hope for.

~*~*~

Hell was just such an  _ awful _ place. Of course, that was the entire point of Hell, but would it  _ kill _ them to brighten things up just a bit, Crowley thought morosely as he made his way through the outer courts, to the chambers of his boss, Prince Beelzebub.

Not very long ago, he had been on Earth, watching as the rains began, sweeping away countless humans and animals in a devastating flood. His angelic counterpart on Earth, the Principality Aziraphale, had tried to convince him that there had been some greater purpose to it all. Some ultimate good that would come out of it.

But he couldn’t see it. All Crowley could see was the sudden surge of human souls arriving Downstairs, destined for eternal torment. He had been recalled to Hell to assist with the sudden increase in work, shortly after Aziraphale had been recalled to Heaven. Neither of them had wanted to return to their respective home offices, but it wasn’t as if either of them had a choice. Hopefully they’d both get reassigned to Earth once things were back to normal.

In the meantime, he needed to figure out how to maintain as low a profile as possible. 

“Crowley,” Beelzebub droned, in their usual disinterested tone. “It hazzz been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Nah, it hasn’t been all that long since I’ve checked in…” Crowley protested, wincing at the scowl he received in response. “Well, there’s a lot to do up there, you know. Lots of humans to tempt.”

“Not anymore.” Beelzebub replied with absolutely no sympathy. 

“Er, right,” Crowley muttered in response, feeling a sudden chill. “S’pose they’re all down here now…”

“Indeed.” Beelzebub regarded him with a disapproving frown. “Get down to receiving. We need help processing all these new souls. Make yourself useful for once.”

Crowley resisted the temptation to point out that he was probably more useful than most other demons. Arguing with the Prince of Hell was a losing endeavor on a good day, and with the current unexpected workload, they were in no mindset to be bothered. Instead Crowley wrapped his arms around his waist, looking down at nothing in particular. “Right,” he said. “I’ll get right on it.”

~*~*~

Michael had heard all about the demon Crowley. He was somewhat of a legend down below. The first demon ever to set foot on the Earth. The one who led the first humans into sin, guaranteeing a steady flow of damned souls to the torments of Hell.

Yet, despite his accomplishments, there was also a good deal of suspicion surrounding Crowley. Not that demons trusted other demons to begin with, but they were especially distrustful of one who spent so much time among the humans. Perhaps he had been Up There for too long. Perhaps he was forgetting his purpose.

Michael had been quite surprised when the notorious demon showed up in his department. Certainly he could have found a more lofty position somewhere more prestigious. 

Like most demons by this point, Michael had taken on a human form, one that he assumed was that of an average looking person. He really had no way to judge human appearances though. However, something about Crowley’s chosen form seemed to not be all that average. He had long, fiery red hair, that seemed to be messy yet somehow contained. The bright red hair seemed even more striking as it trailed down his flowing black robes. But it was his  _ eyes  _ that stood out the most. Not human at all. Bright yellow snakelike eyes. It was fascinating.

“I, uh, you’re Crowley, I presume,” Michael said as he approached the other demon. “My boss told me you’d be coming.” He paused, feeling incredibly self-conscious as he was studied silently by those yellow eyes. “I’m Michael. I’m one of the apprentice architects here.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow curiously. “Michael? Like…” He lifted his gaze upwards.

“Well, I mean… It’s a strange name for a demon, I know. But there’s only  _ so _ many names out there. And it seemed fitting.” Michael shrugged. “It’s not my real name, anyway. But I prefer it.”

Crowley grinned. “I understand completely.”

~*~*~

There was something fascinating about this demon called Michael. The fact that he’d be bold enough to choose the name of an  _ archangel _ was certainly intriguing. His appearance was also rather odd. Unlike the other demons, Crowley included, who dressed in dark clothing, Michael’s clothes were bright and clean. His tunic looked almost like what he had last seen Aziraphale wearing. That outfit combined with the white hair and bright blue eyes, made Michael seem like the kind of friendly old man that humans would instinctively trust. If Michael had been an angel, his persona would have been spot on, but for a demon it was just  _ strange. _

“So you’re an architect, huh?” Crowley asked the other demon.

“Apprentice architect,” Michael replied. “But at the moment I’ve been put in charge of getting a bunch of new neighborhoods up and running. This was really all quite unexpected.”

“Unexpected? You don’t say?” Crowley smirked.

“Well, uh… okay, that was really stating the obvious. I’m just a little overwhelmed at the moment.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” Crowley said amicably, realizing that the combination of his sarcasm and his notoriety was probably rather intimidating to the demon apprentice. “I’m just messing with you.”

Michael laughed nervously. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I think the real question is, is there something I can help  _ you _ with?” Crowley answered, taking one of the files from Michael’s hands. An idea was forming in his mind. A way to avoid the usual methods of Hell’s torture  _ and  _ stay out of view of his superiors in the process. “Perhaps I can help get one of these neighborhoods set up for you.”

“If you want to, but… well, I’m sure you can do much more than that. You’ve got much more experience with humans than the rest of us.”

Crowley shrugged. “I’m just here to help. You know, until things get going back Up There again.”

“Be my guest in that case.” Michael replied. “But would you mind if I came by your neighborhood later to check things out? I’d be rather interested to see what you come up with.”

If any other demon had made that request, Crowley would have refused, but he got the strange feeling that he could trust Michael. Not that demons should trust other demons, but this one was different.

“Sure thing,” Crowley replied, giving him a wave as he slinked away to start up his own little corner of Hell.

~*~*~

Crowley’s neighborhood did not turn out to be at all what Michael had envisioned. Given the other demon’s rank, he had expected the level of torture to be even more sadistic than Shawn’s inventions. But instead he found Crowley simply drinking wine at a table in the middle of town, watching bemusedly as the humans appeared to be fighting each other.

The people were certainly miserable, Michael could sense it, but there were no demons torturing them with fiery pokers or pits full of snakes. The place  _ looked _ like Hell. Blood red skies full of sulfurous clouds, barren ground scattered with jagged rocks, just like the blueprints. But the only torture happening was… unconventional.

“Michael!” Crowley called out, waving him over. “Come and have a drink.”

Michael took a seat at the table across from Crowley, looking uncertainly at the cup of wine that was placed in front of him. “Should you be drinking this?”

“Drunkenness is a sin, so why not?” Crowley replied with a grin. “It’s a fun way to pass the time at any rate.”

“Right,” Michael answered. He looked up and saw several humans chasing someone down the street, weapons in hand, yelling something at him. “So, uh, what’s going on here, exactly?”

“Got them all convinced that it’s someone else’s fault they ended up in Hell. Now they’re busy trying to make the others pay for it. And I can just kick back and relax until I get reassigned back to Earth.”

“I see,” Michael replied, mulling the idea over in his mind. Technically, the humans here were suffering, even if it wasn’t in the typical manner. The serpent was indeed called the most clever of God’s creatures, and perhaps that was accurate after all. “So you really haven’t done anything to them yourself? Just set them loose on each other?”

“I might have messed around in their minds a bit. Made them a bit more vengeful,” Crowley said with a shrug. “But it really didn’t take much to turn them against each other. Humans have the weirdest ideas about Hell and damnation. Much worse than anything we have going on Down Here.”

“Worse? That doesn’t seem possible.”

“Humans are actually much better at thinking up tortures than demons,” Crowley remarked. He cringed when the group of humans caught up with the man they were chasing. He seemed to be alarmed at the sound the human made when the others ran their swords through him.

Michael himself was unfazed, having long ago learned to drown out the screams of the damned.

“I don’t believe it,” Michael said, turning his attention away from the human who was currently being disemboweled. He swirled the wine in his cup, noting the dark red color and distinctive smell. He did not, however, venture to taste it. Demons didn’t need to eat or drink. “It’s literally our job. Thinking up tortures. How could the humans be better than  _ us _ ?”

“Demons have no imagination.” Crowley took another sip of wine, finally managing to turn his gaze back to Micheal. He looked a little pale. “Think about it. You’re an architect. When’s the last time any of your lot thought up anything  _ new _ ? It’s all just spiders, and bees, and bottomless pits.”

“We just opened a new neighborhood with a bottomless pit full of bees,” Michael said, though his voice fell flat when he realized that was not, in fact, a new idea.

Crowley laughed, though his expression quickly turned dark when another group of humans lit a fire beneath someone tied to a stake. “You seem different than the others. Maybe you can think up something new. Some sort of better method of torture than…  _ this _ ...”

“You really think so?” Michael said brightly. It wasn’t often that a demon was ever complimented by another demon. But Crowley seemed different than the others too. It was strangely comforting to Michael to think that perhaps demons didn’t have to fit into a certain mould. It was a dangerous idea though, and he tried not to dwell on it.

“Yeah, I really think so,” Crowley said with an actually pleasant smile.

Michael found himself smiling in return. “Thanks, Crowley.”

“Don’t mention it.” Crowley raised his cup of wine. “Cheers.”

Michael raised his cup as well and finally decided to take a sip. It tasted terrible.

~*~*~

Michael was making his way through the neighborhoods he had set up, taking one last walkthrough to ensure everything was running smoothly. So far it had been rather uneventful, until he rounded a corner and ran right into the two Dukes of Hell.

“Duke Hastur, Duke Ligur,” he exclaimed, trying to remember proper protocol. It had been a very long time since he had encountered any of Hell’s nobility. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t the demon who calls himself  _ Michael _ ,” Hastur said disdainfully. “Thinkin’ that highly of yourself, are ya?”

“Just, uh, wanted to be blasphemous,” Michael responded, feeling rather impressed with his own quick thinking.

Ligur laughed. “Blasphemous, indeed. Imagine that archangel would be a right bit pissed if she knew.”

“Hopefully,” Michael said, feeling a bit more at ease. “Is there anything I can assist you two with?”

“Just wanted to check out some of the new souls. See what kinda torture we’ve got goin’ on these days,” Hastur replied.

“Maybe do a little torturing ourselves,” Ligur added. “Could use a break from all this bloody paperwork.”

“Of course,” Michael replied, feeling suddenly very nervous when he noticed the door they were standing in front of. The last thing anyone needed was for the two of them to see Crowley’s neighborhood. He had to act quickly, moving to block them.

“What’s the matter?” Ligur asked.

“You don’t want to go to  _ this _ neighborhood,” Michael answered, trying to think of a good lie fast.

“Why not?”

“It’s just that  _ this  _ neighborhood is pretty basic, you know,” Michael said, as he continued standing in front of the door. “There are some much better ones. Where the fiery sticks are much sharper  _ and _ much hotter.” He smiled nervously, hoping he had sold it.

Ligur shrugged, seeming rather uninterested. “Well, lead the way then.”

“This other neighborhood better be as much fun as you say,” Hastur added with a threatening snarl. “Or maybe we’ll test those sticks out on  _ you _ .”

“Oh, I’m certain there will be no need for that,” Michael said as he led the Dukes of Hell away from Crowley’s neighborhood to one of the others designed by Shawn himself. Certainly that would not disappoint the high ranking demons if they were looking for some first rate torture.

Michael couldn’t help but think, as he opened the door to a particularly twisted neighborhood, that Crowley had been right. Demons really lacked in imagination. Though Shawn’s handiwork was certainly the epitome of demonic cruelty, it was nothing new. It would appease Hastur and Ligur, but Michael was starting to become unimpressed. Perhaps he really would be the demon to think of something new. As soon as he got promoted to architect he would really show them what he could do.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I managed to fuse these two shows together while staying in canon for both. I didn't want it to be like Crowley basically gave Michael the whole idea, but Shawn also mentions to Michael at one point that he had tried to get humans to torture each other but had been unsuccessful. So I figure that idea was already out there, but Michael's the one who came up with the whole psychological aspect of it, as well as convincing people they were actually in the Good Place. Crowley just gave him some encouragement to think outside the box.


End file.
